twenty five.

25 weeks!

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Gender: Boy

Name: Grayson ______ Fuhr ( still deciding middle name)

Symptoms: Things have changed pretty drastically lately. Maybe its because im going into my THIRD trimester, who knows. It just has been quite the ride. I thought I had developed something called PUPPPS ( Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plagues of Pregnancy) pretty much a nasty rash until you have your baby. Its HORRIBLY itchy, like having the chicken pox for several months. It doesn't harm your baby, but it will drive you crazy. My doctor thought it could be that or just an allergic reaction..... thank goodness I was just allergic to my body wash! I was so very happy. Another thing that has been happening lately is Braxton Hicks and these stupid little round ligament spasms. Its like having mini contractions. Completely normal during this time, but still strange and scary sometimes. Oh, yea and Im getting bigger. Fun times. I was complaining for the longest time on how Im not really showing yet and hes just growing and growing. You can now tell im pregnant, I dont have to stick it out there now, haha.

Weight: Im gaining... thankfully not much, but still its so strange to see those numbers go up. I forget Im pregnant sometimes and think how in the world?!? Then look down at the large belly. lol

Cravings: I have the " I need that" cravings. I need everything anyone is eating. Its not anything specific, just everything. haha. Most of the time I check out what other people are having for lunch, then go out and buy it myself. Maybe Grayson is going to have peer pressure problems when he grows up lol?

Sleep: Hardly any, I have horrible anxiety issues at night. Its when all my thoughts race and drives me insane. Which is really crumy because I get so tired throughout the day.

Tomorrow is my FIRST baby shower for Grayson!! :) My wonderful work is throwing me a party since I will be leaving them soon ( May 11th). Im so excitied to get little baby things!!!!

Pictures to come soon .............

twenty three.

23 weeks

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Gender: Still a boy ;)

Name: We have one picked out, and we will share soon.....

Symptoms: Feeling amazing! Just a bit emotional at times, but really this is nothing new. I loose my breath very easily when I do certain tasks. I hardly ever have cravings. Somedays I feel like eating a bunch, somedays I have to force myself to eat. I fall in love with my little boy more and more everyday. Its kind of crazy that you can have such a bond with someone you haven't even meet yet. Hes already on a schedule, he wakes up when I eat and at 12:00 at night. Its so strange. Its like clock work right at 12 he starts wiggling like a little worm. I love him.

Weight: I haven't checked in a while. I know Im growing, but I feel good about my weight. I guess Im just not keeping track of the numbers.

Cravings: When I do have them, its something sweet or fruity.

Sleep: So, so.

The nesting thing seems to be coming and going. Somedays I clean like a crazy, others I just want to sleep. I love getting little boy clothes, my mom randomly sends them in the mail for me! I can't wait until he fills them with his little chunky legs! Ahhh, i love babies. Speaking of which, I getting to meet my little neice, Lula, soon :) :) Can't wait!!

twenty two.

22 weeks

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Gender: B O Y !

Name: ______ ____ _____ ( got one, but still unsure)

Symptoms: Bloating, fattness. Im not use to this bump getting in my way. It's still not big yet, but its just there and annoying. Ive never had a gut before lol. I just feel ugly lately, but it will go away. I have also been pretty emotional lately, poor Josh. I think the fact my dog died doesnt make things any better, but even if that didnt happen I would find a reason to cry. Sometimes I cry and have no idea why lol. I feel stupid so I just make up something. Thankfully I am learning when this is going to happen and try to control it.

Gotta love those hormones!

Weight: So I was bragging to mom about how Im not really gaining that much weight. I thought I was just feeling bloated and thats all lol. Then I stepped on the scale... hahahahaha. I have gained about 10 pounds since I got pregnant. Which is fairly normal, but gee wiz. So im walking that extra fat off. I want to be healthy when I gain.

Cravings: Not really anything this week.

Sleep: Im sleeping ok. It just seems my little buddy has been more active in the morning which usually wakes me up.

Movement: Hes nuts. He moves usually after I eat, when he wants to eat, when he wants to sleep, when he wants to wake up. So he pretty much moves alot! I love it tho! Hes really gaining some strength lately!

Nesting.

Nesting, panic, craze.

So at a certain point in your pregnancy you get a little itch called "nesting." It's a little insane. Im pretty sure its all I think about these days. I do think its completely built into us, just look at those fat little robins hopping around . They don't look very panicked, but deep down inside they must be. haha. Today I was quickly reminded of the following verse...

And He said to His disciples, "For this reason I say to you, do not worry about your life, as to what you will eat; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing? Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap; they have no storeroom nor barn, and yet God feeds them; how much more valuable you are than the birds! And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life's span? If then you cannot do even a very little thing, why do you worry about other matters? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; but I tell you, not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, how much more will He clothe you? You men of little faith! And do not seek what you will eat and what you will drink, and do not keep worrying. Luke 12:22-29

Makes me feel pretty sheepish actually. Here I am worrying day and night about moving, preparing for this baby, and hoping Im going to be a good momma. When in reality God's got it under control. Yea, we dont have a house yet... but it will work out. Too be honest Im going to have to come back to this post pretty often to remind myself of this. Its so easy to look at my growing belly and completely PANIC. Im just so thankful God has showed this to me today. As for right now im going to go feed the birds and enjoy this beautiful day God has given me.

Please pray that God will give us direction and peace.

God Bless

Em

twenty.

20 weeks

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I told Josh last night that I just miss having someone to give my love too. I have Josh, but Im talking about the motherly nuturing type of love. He said the sweetest thing... he said Em you have a little baby growing in you, you are always snuggling. This made me sleep better last night, I just rubbed my belly and realized theres light at the end of this darkness. Im so thankful for Josh.

Gender: BOY!!!

Symptoms: I haven't really noticed any changes yet, I have been feeling rather well.

Weight: Im feeling a little bigger, may have gained a pound or 2 within the last week. Im happy with my weight tho. I am currently in maternity clothes, I call them my fat pants. They are amazing.

Carvings: Pasta salad from Fazolis. Strange I know, but Ive been eating tons of them.

Sleep: Not so good to be honest, I'm just missing a certain someone and wake up in a panic looking for him. Not to mention my baby is a little wild man at night!

Movement: I feel him move everyday, a kick here and there. Just to make me realize he loves me I think ;) Or its a move mom, give me food mom move. lol

Prayers: Please continue to pray for me and Josh, we have had several Ups and downs during this pregnancy. The loss of Josh's cousin and huckleberry are still affecting us. Please pray that we hold on to the hope of our child and remember God's in control of all things. Please also pray for the health of me and my baby :)

A pup named Huck.

Please just be patient with me as I rant and whine. I know the little dog above to you means nothing more than a picture, but he was more to me. And this just seems to be the place to let it all out.

So here it goes...

I never thought in a million years he would have ever gone so soon. My little huckleberry, my sidekick. We did everything together. I serously had an unheathly realtionship with him. It is maybe due to the fact that I don't have children myself... or its just because thats just how it was going to be. But we were inseparable. So yes, you are thinking Em.. just a dog. BUT let me tell you, he wasnt. Lassie, Marley and Old Yeller had nothing on Huck. He protected us, kept us company, loved us unconditionally, made us laugh, made us cry, and hes just gone. This dog even trained HIMSELF to ring a bell when he wanted outside, he feed himself food, and was easily trainable. I think he did this just so he wouldnt bother us. Best dog I have ever had. Am I being dramatic, NO, I loved him and he deserves to be talked about in this way.

I miss him horribly. I came home from a busy day of work, plopped my stuff on the couch and let huck outside. It was a beautiful day, in the 70's so I decided to let huck out longer to enjoy the weather. I ate dinner, went online and went to look out the door to see if he was ok. I noticed.. he was gone. I completely started panicking. Me and my 20 week old preggo belly started out on the hunt. Josh wasnt home yet to help, but I thought I would find him anyway. I walked and drove street by street, nothing. I asked several people and some said they had just saw a little beagle 5 mins. ago! So my hopes where up again. 6 hours later, 2 people searching, and 10 signs made. Josh decided it was enough and for me and told to take a break because im pregnant. He asked me to go to bed and told me " he is probably in someones bed and they will turn him in tomorrow" He just didnt want me to get upset because of the baby. And to be honest I still think he had some hope, and so did I. So I gave him NyQuil, waited for him to drift off to sleep and went back in my car to do some searching. I drove street by street again, and once again nothing. So i decided to check the main road and a little subdivison next to ours. As I am driving back to my house I see a fresh pool of blood and drive on. Deep in the pit of my heart I knew, but didnt want to look. I had to know so I turned around and drove by it again. I looked to the side and there he was a little white tail, adorable brown and black ears, and those long legged legs of his. Altho he was curled up like he was sleeping, it devasted me. I gunned my car down as fast as I could. Ran out of my car to the bedroom upstairs. I woke josh up by yelling, "HE'S DEAD!!! HUCKS DEAD!!!!! " He just stared at me in disbelief and shook his head. He asked where, so he could make sure he was dead and not injuried. I took him to the horrible site and josh got out of the car to check Hucks lifeless body. "Hes gone Em" We both went back to bed, completely horrified. Held eachother in our arms and cried all night. Our buddy is gone. He brought Josh and I so much happiness. I slept an hour and then told Josh I cant see him on the road everyday. Rickie agreed to come out and put his body in a bag. Josh had to go to Penn. today, so he couldnt do it. We carried him to a beautiful place called Boones Creek Camp. This is where I grew up, fell in love and wanted my dog to be. If you go out there sometime you will see a little grave that holds 1 of many dogs buried there. A simple one, but an honoring one. Marking the grave is a big rock my daddywalter gave me, sticks lying across it, and 3 daffodils. Hes buried in view of a lovely pond we had taken him before. Huck deserved a proper burial. Though a dog, he just wasnt. Thank you camp and Rickie for allowing me to do this.

Will I ever get over this? In some ways yes and in some ways no. Theres no dog like him, but I also have this little baby boy kicking me as I am typing this. God has blessed me with 3 1/2 years with my little buddy. I appreciate every moment with him. I can't wait to focus my love 2x more to my little boy. Im thankful for those moments. I have a motherly heart and now its just a waiting game to use that.

We will miss you Huckleberry, thank you for everything.

Moon River, wider than a mile, I'm crossing you in style some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker, wherever you're going I'm going your way.
Two drifters off to see the world. There's such a lot of world to see.
We're after the same rainbow's end-- waiting 'round the bend,
my huckleberry friend, Moon River and me.

nineteen/twenty.

BOY, OH BOY!

Yes, you should know this by now if you keep up with my FB, just thought I would share it again. Am I excitied... of COURSE!!! Im pretty sure its all I can think about now. I go to stores and just browse the boy clothes, toys, etc. Yes, Im in love with my little buddy. I just wanted to say first of all. For those of you who will get pregnant in the future... dont ever believe those old wives tales!!! haha. My grandma insisted doing some weird string thing... it said I was having a girl. I have heard the heart beat if over 140, then you are having a girl... NOT true. They say if you eat like a teenage boy then you are having a boy... NOT true. Just dont listen haha. I thought I was having a boy in the beginning. Then second guessed myself. Then went back. Hey guess what... its all guessing. lol.

I have some names picked out that Im pretty proud of, I will share them with you when we find the final name. I have to say they are stinkin cute! We will see what Josh says ;) I hope to be able to share this with you soon. Im eager to name this little man.

The ultrasound experience

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Walking into the office, I was so excitied I could barely stand it. I could tell Josh was the same. I had drank my bottle of water and popped in some M&M's so my baby would move some. So I was a little hyped up. They called us all back and started to prepare my belly, I held my breath most of the time.I keep seeing this little thing on the screen every once and a while and thought maybe it was a boy... but I waited. Then she annouced it, A BOY! Tears immediately filled my eyes, my moms, and Joshs. After the appt. calls were being made in the hallway. I could tell Josh was excitied when he tried to get his phone and just dropped it on the floor into pieces. haha. We were all excitied to FINALLY know!

Anything like me, by Brad Paisley

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I remember sayin' I don't care either way
Just as long as he or she is healthy, I'm okay
And then the doctor pointed to the corner of the screen
And said, "You see that thing right there? Well, you know what that means"

I started wondering who he was going to be
And I thought heaven help us if he's anything like me

He'll probably climb a tree too tall and ride his bike too fast
End up every summer wearin' something in a cast
He's gonna throw a ball and break some glass
In a window down the street

He's gonna get in trouble, oh, he's gonna get in fights
I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep
It's safe to say that I'm gonna get my payback
If he's anything like me

I can see him right now, knees all skinned up
With a magnifying glass tryin' to melt a Tonka truck
Won't he be a sight with his football helmet on?
That'll be his first love 'til his first love comes along

He'll get his heart broke by the time he's in his teens
And heaven help him if he's anything like me

He'll probably stay out too late and drive his car too fast
Get a speeding ticket, he'll pay for mowing grass
He's gonna get caught skippin' class
And be grounded for a week

He's gonna get into trouble, we're gonna get in fights
I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep
It's safe to say that I'm gonna get my payback
If he's anything like me

He's gonna love me
And hate me along the way
The years are gonna fly by
And I already dread the day

He's gonna hug his mama, he's gonna shake my hand
He's gonna act like he can't wait to leave

But as he drives out he'll cry his eyes out
If he's anything like me
There's worst folks to be like, oh, he'll be alright
If he's anything like me

19 & 20 weeks
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Symptoms: Bigger belly, and yet still so small. Feeling fantastic!

Weight: I really haven't gained much weight at all. I'm hoping it continues this way from this point on. ( knock on wood) I really have had a good pregnancy so far.

Sleep: I haven't been sleeping as well as I usually do. My back aches at night which wakes me. I usually have to make bathroom trips in the middle of the night.

Movement: This little guy moves a bunch! When I am on my back he starts to get really restless. I think hes trying to say " MOM, Please MOVE!!!" Its probably because theres less room for him and my spine is pressing on him. Poor little guy, lol. Im hoping Josh will feel him move soon. :)